I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have already put on my inside pants.
I need a beard to bite.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
