my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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