I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
