Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
