Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
