Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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