I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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