yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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