i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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