please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
50% drunk capacity currently
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
