Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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