you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
