im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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