Someone shit on the floor
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
no you cant smoke seaweed
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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