Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
