I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
