So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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