Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
