Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
