best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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