therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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