The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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