I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
