can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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