best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have aggressive nipples.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm both gender and math confused
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
