Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
