i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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