how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
