be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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