..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
