we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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