I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
