he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
