wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you didnt know i had herpes?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
