I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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