what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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