Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
