So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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