Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
