Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
