I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
