Don't you send me to vm
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
