I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
