i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
