forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Liz is crying about burritos again.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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