"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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