I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
