I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
