it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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