I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
