Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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