i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
