I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
