You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
