haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
