Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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