You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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