oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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