How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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