Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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