Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
