I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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